Catch 22

Another one catches , for maybe the 22nd time,
Backstage , centerstage, devoured by the spotlight.
Should she leap or better just to crouch?
What of this is yours, hers, ours or even mine?
Painting stories and tales that with fluidity escape my mouth.
Run rapid water colors splash for your perception .
Will this pass and go away or will it sink in as a lesson.
My brain, it torments my heart  into submission
Give in, let go, the lesson lies within your patience .
Running low on the 4th dimension.
Never a better time for my soul to start confessing .

Me, Myself and I

Abandon more than ever before. Decisions decided - to my naked eye but a blur. Spur -of a moment - unsure of its consequent. Unacceptance frequents, It is promised and it is written.    So I float and continue to wander. Distracting my ability to change the surface and what lies under.. A hoax to stay or to go, can't help but wonder. Is this dreaming or have I woke- I am numb and I am somber. I am burnt out like the blazed sun,scorched.  Pencils lead heavy even for this drawing board. Blank and adrift , mind has been washed ashore. Confused of what I want,but I know that it is so much more. Too much to take in. Aware of my surroundings but im naked. Unprepared-too scared to awaken. Ill continue to drift off as this is too much to take in.

I Kinda Always Knew You'd End Up My ExBoyfriend

I guess that technically I’m “free”. However, the issue stands, do I even want to be? For so long it was you and me, but slowly. I lost everything, that was once me. My dreams and my hopes disintegrated throughout the long love-filled months, Even throughout the drama and chaos, I could never envision my life without you. Now that we are officially apart on all existing platforms, how is one like me supposed to cope? How am I supposed to have real hopes or real dreams in the days months and years that lie ahead? I can only see myself with you. I don’t want another and I don’t want you with another, ever. I believed, at one time, that living together caused the chaos. I believe that my job, studies, perhaps even a chemical imbalance caused the chaos. But the more time that passes and the more that dramatic circumstances arise without an end point, I come to the realization: We simply don’t fit together. Not even at all. I couldn’t make it fit, I couldn’t make it work. As far as I’m concerned, you never even budged to try, and now here I am exhausted and indebted to you for years to come. With this unfortunate circumstance, no benefits will be reaped. This seems to lie only on my end. I feel I will never feel your embrace, or feel the warmth and comfort from the look in your eyes when you are overflowing with love, passion and selflessness…for me… for us. I don’t believe I will ever experience the bliss we had with one another… I am torn and broken and I can’t find an inch of my being to keep me strong through this. I would never hurt the one I love. I solely fear the thought of losing such a gift that I have prayed and begged for all my life. And now it is gone forever. Logic and sensibility say we aren’t meant to be together, the pain of this truth will leave me tortured for eternity. The only man I ever loved has not let me walk away, but be dragged away in chains with no plead for change. How could this be my life, how could one let this become reality and just give up? Merely a woman in love, lust, obsession, passion, why would this ever be the outcome? Only in America could something as beautiful as what we had be seen as criminal or wrong. Not I, my love and my heart are just completely yours, I know this because I have seen more of the world than some. I will never let this go, I will never recover, and I will never be the same.

DOMINO

A downward spiral,
As it's generally referred.
Push one piece down, you're liable,
Domino effect in turn.

If you don't believe in anything,
Technically how do you exist?
If nothing existing is your reality,
How can you possibly persist.

If you can't trust and have no faith,
You will forever live in fear.
Anxiously over-thinking it's too late,
So much anger, losing the ability to steer.

Question everything in your world,
When anger over takes you.
Concluding belief in only the tangible,
Only thing credible is you.

To figure it all out again,
Figure you must test the theory.
So you let yourself experience pain,
You allow the creation of hell it's so dreary.
And maybe if it makes you feel,
Maybe, just maybe,
That'll prove that something greater is real.

Try to believe in a happy ending,
Or else misery will rule your world.
Hold on tight and try to see,
This'll pass, nothing last forever.
Only you possess the power to set yourself free.

starkravingviking.blogspot.com

STRAIGHT

Perception was blurred.
Definitely not the outcome you you preferred.
Or what you thought you deserved.
Before you could no longer see,
In turn, crashed cuz you swerved.
Losing sight of the road i heard,
Gotta grip tight or you'll never learn.
If you don't keep your head straight,
You'll crash and you'll burn.

allposters.com

DAYDREAM

She's always so distracted,
Hours keep passing,
Yet still nothings happened.
Paranoid they're laughing,
Everything's a blur,
No subtitles, no captions.
Pure confusion.
She seems to get it,
But it's all acting.

She's so delusional,
World she sees isn't true at all.
For a deeper meaning, she'll forever lust,
Reality based on skewed memories.
Who is she to trust,
When her past is based on make-believe?

At the end of the rope,
Looks like all she's ever known.
No welcome sign on the door,
She belongs nowhere anymore.

Uncomfortable in her own skin,
The new her hasn't sunk in.
The familiar has always been sin,
Now she wants a fresh start.
But it's impossible to erase scars.
Forcing a smile never seemed so hard.
How does she learn to focus?
No more zig zags, just straight forward.
Too deep in a daydream to notice..
Hoping that one day someone will show her.
And finally she'll awaken.
It's never too late, don't be mistaken.

IMAGE: listverse.com